I can get a little overwhelmed with so much on my plate. I temporarily left my job so I could focus on taking care of my parents. They understand that it’s time for assisted living and we can’t afford full time care during the day, so I must try to get the arrangements done as soon as possible so I can get back to work. Making decisions for yourself is one thing, but as every parent must know, being responsible for others means making life altering changes to their lives. I am not a parent, nor will I ever be, but this must be part of what it feels like to be a stay at home mom or dad.
I made a decision when I was young never to have children. I never felt the urge to be a parent. I was to busy trying to acquire “stuff”. He with the most toys wins, right? That seems to be the mentality of most people these days. Many do not seem to see what’s right in front of them, some do. I have a friend with the nicest family, at least outside looking in, that I can remember. I think he does understand. Granted, I can only judge that from the look on his face when he talks about his kids, or from pictures, but I can tell. His family is everything to him. I respect that greatly. I wish I grew up with a father like that.
I never had a good role model growing up. I don’t think my father had the ability to connect with me due in part to the way he was brought up. My siblings have a different belief system than I do, and never the two shall meet. I don’t look to public figures or celebrities for guidance as the persona they emit is nothing but a purified display of what they think the public wants. Ultimately, most people will let you down, at least in my experience. Do I ask too much of people? Maybe, but I only ask what I am willing to give.
So now I sit here, trying to decide what to do first. I can’t strive for my goals until the needs of my folks are met. Is that what it feels like to be a parent? You put your goals on hold for the benefit of others, or is the benefit of others the goal?