The Search for Spock

“Humans are most illogical”.  I always loved that line because it’s so true.  Emotions drive the human being, and emotions, if not kept in check, can sometimes be detrimental to ones well being.  I think most of my life, I have been driven by emotions I neither understood, nor could I completely control.  I’ve always had great difficulty in social situations.  I tend to come on to strong.  I have a driven personality, and strive to get the most out of things in a short period of time.  I don’t work well with others as I tend to think quickly and expect everyone to keep up.  Well that’s just not the case.  Everyone is different.

Mr Spock

I can come off as a “know it all” sometimes, but that is far from the truth.  My personality type is called an ISTJ. http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTJ.html  I can score pretty high on an IQ test, but fail miserably under social pressure.  Maybe part of that is because I spent so much time alone during the formative years of my childhood.  I had few friends and never participated in any sports in school.  My folks didn’t like the idea of the strong competition involved.  I think that was a mistake, but I don’t fault them for standing buy their convictions.  Had I been exposed to more social situations, with their inherent ups and downs, things may have been different.

What’s funny is I do very well in a customer service or sales position if I truly believe in the product or service.   I worked for a lawn service company years ago, and sold lawn care to people in Maine.  We did this in February, and over the phone.  You couldn’t even see your lawn!  As I spent more time with several companies in this field, I became bored and disillusioned with the process and the people I worked for and left.  We always spoke about how we “tailored” our service to each customer, but really it was pretty much the same for all.  I won’t say it was dishonest, but maybe a little deceptive.  That’s just not me.  Most of my jobs since then have been solitary in nature, and more comfortable for me as I can deliver what I say I will.

Now as I continue my quest for my inner peace, I like to reflect back on the mistakes I have made.  That gives me allot to think about!  I think we all strive to become better people.  Learning from your mistakes is a big part of that.  Being able to better read your own emotional state will only increase your ability to interact with others.  In my case, I need to learn to apply a little more logic, and allot less emotion.  And so the search for Spock continues.

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