Define Friend…

noun

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.                         2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:                                                                            3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile                          4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.                                                                                                 5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.                                                                                                                                                                               6. a person associated with another as a contact on a social-media website:

Well, there’s the Websters Dictionary version.  But how would you define friend?  I think 1&2 are the real definitions of a friend, the rest I would consider an acquaintance.  So why do we call all 1286, or whatever the number may be, people on our Facebook page our “Friends”?  I have 7, and only 2 come even close to being a real friend.  Not that I don’t like the others, but let’s keep it real.

Recently, I spoke to someone I had “Unfriended”.  This person asked me why I had done that.  I told him that when I stopped working there, I tried to stay in touch, but I felt nobody really responded to anything I wrote.  I wasn’t offended, and I still like all of them, I just figured we were “Work Friends” only.  If they felt otherwise, they all knew my email and phone number.  They could have called to see what’s up.

A few years ago, I dropped the “Friends” I had at that time.  I had known most of them since high school.  Were they true friends?  No, they were not.  They were just the people I partied with, drank with, did drugs with.  If push came to shove, they would scatter like cockroaches.  I think if you have 2 or 3 REAL friends in your lifetime, your doing good.  I had 1 years ago, but we were separated by time and circumstances we had no control over. I miss her greatly.

Am I to strict in my standards of who is friend worthy?  Do I come on to strong and drive people off?  My personality is what it is.  At 50 years old, I’m not going to change much.  I think most people don’t take the time to truly get to know someone.  I have been guilty of the same.  It takes more that a few comments on Facebook to understand the true person within.  Friends have become just as disposable as most everything else in our modern society.

I feel it takes time and commitment. You have to be around someone in more than just a work environment.  You have to look beyond the persona that we all exude in the presence of many.  I feel if you want to know someone, there’s nothing better than sharing a meal together.  It’s amazing what a plate of spaghetti can do!  All that slurping, and face wiping breaks down more than a few barriers to true conversation.

I believe friendship most often starts with common interests, but even opposites attract.  There has to be trust, but I feel that has to be earned over time.  I have been “Burned” many times in my life by people I thought were friends, so I am very careful how far and how quick I let anyone in.  The person I put out there, is not really me.  Anyone reading this who knows me, may be surprised by what I write.  If they are, then I guess they paid no attention to the  “Weird Guy With The Dog” behind the curtain!  (I always loved “Wizard of Oz!)

Why can’t it be as simple as with a dog.  They are always happy to see you.  They don’t eat much.  They don’t care what you say or do, as long as you take them.  And they never bring home “Stray dogs”, unlike my ex wife!

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34 thoughts on “Define Friend…

  1. So well written and what a great post – I can fully relate. I don’t have that many friends on Face Book but I do have a small handful of people in real life who know and accept me for who I am. It takes time, commitment and shared experiences to be a true friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I found your blog for the 2nd time now.. bookmarking !!!! I love Vinny.. um.. you’re ok too 😂
    You have the most down to earth, fun to read, provokes thought ( 2 B.C. powders a visit lol ) The pictures are terrific and some should be postcards or in a portfolio in case you take up photography as a side career ! I rarely get to run into you anymore 😕 But believe it or not, I do think of you and Vinny time to time. I’m going to try and visit your wonderful blog more often. Give Vinny a hug for me please. And hug yourself for me too 😊
    Stewie is doing well 👍

    Truck#3113 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As a driver you know that we have allot of time to think about stuff! At the end of the day its nice to write it all down so our minds are empty when sleeping. You wake up refreshed, and ready to solve all the worlds problems by noon. Wait, that’s the drivers sitting at the counter at TA!

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  3. I dropped Facebook altogether when I got overwhelmed with ‘Friends’, acquaintances really, who embarrassed me with all the silly things they talked about. Who cares if you just had a beer? WordPress has been a much more pleasant experience with like-minded friends who use writing etiquette. Life is too short to waste time faking a friendship just for the status or clique. Good post.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve read this 3x and thought on it each time.. now I’m ready to comment.. I agree with every point.. I think ppl nowadays , in this fast paced world of instant and disposable, don’t stop and smell the roses.. Most ppl want to do it all and have it all.. And technology aids in that tremendously.. it lets us connect in so many ways at lightning speed.. Admittedly I am a bad friend on the connecting end.. But I have a few awesome friends that put up with my shortcomings.. Our times together is my emtional reset and complete sense of belonging.. Time slows down in the moment but the moments pass quickly..
    We have the patience that formed the road to friendship because we valued the other person..Time is all any of us have..
    I don’t need or want my ppl to be fast or disposal.. I don’t have FB , maybe someday but it won’t be to have a gazillion friends I wouldn’t ever have a chance to know or connect with..
    Ok, time for my 2 B.C. powders, 😋

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  5. Hugs hugs and more hugs ! 25yrs out here and I couldn’t agree more.. I’ve worked for some good ones but this one is far ahead of the pack.. Looking forward to treating you and Vinny to some “on the road cooking” in real life 😊

    Like

  6. Can I just say… Here Here!!! That is my EXACT opinion! My hubby calls “friends” on Facebook and other social media (who are not really friends) a bastardization of what a friend really is. And he is right. I used to have a Facebook page with my “real” name and I had 465 “friends” but yet, when I deactivated my account, no one missed me. I sent an email or dropped a text to those who I knew would notice bc I didn’t want them to worry. People who are TRULY my friends and family who REALLY care, do a great job of keeping in touch with me or making sure I get news outside of Facebook. I wrote a post a while back about my opinion of friends. I have a couple of special canine friends too! And you are right… they never bring “strays” home! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Okay Okay Okay! Enough! Get The Hell Out of MY head will Ya? lol
    I have found through the (not so vast) experiences in my simple little life a wonderful distinction to describe the people whom have been a part of my life: Friends or Acquaintances. Of course, back in the day, I had no one on the “Friends” list, I instead thought of them as “Friends” minus the “R” in that word, “Friend”. I am truly blessed however, to have three tried and true genuine human FRIENDS! (and of course, my bff, Ziggy Dog) These three know ME.They have been deep inside of my crazy mind, as I have struggled with the demons I have fought there. They have seen my ugly side, my loving, caring compassionate side, my whiny victim “whoa is me” side, my bitch side, my fuck you I don’t need no friends” side..yet lo and behold, they still stand with me, as solid, trusted and loyal as they have ever been! Ziggy, however has shown me the best way to determine friend or foe: Just sniff their butts and you’ll know! Thank you yet again for sharing your SELF with those of us who truly appreciate the power that comes from such candor! Have a lovely day and give Vinny a high five from Ziggy and me!

    Liked by 1 person

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