The Brain Drain

I drove 667 miles today in 11 hours. Physically, I’m tired but mentally I’m refreshed. I only spoke with 2 people all day, first to order a coffee and then my mom. Tomorrow it will be even less. I’m just coming off my mandatory 34 hour break that I took at our home office while small repairs were made to my truck.

I had breakfast with Pan of the blog “On the road cooking” yesterday. She is a fellow driver at this company. I also spent some time with management looking at security footage trying to figure out who ran into my car while I was gone. I would guess they did approximately $2000.00 worth if damage to the trunk and bumper. Nice welcome home!

All the interaction with people makes me feel like my life force is being sucked out of me, kinda like the Star Trek episode with the giant amoeba looking alien doing the same to the Enterprise and her crew. It doesn’t matter if I like the people or not, the result is the same.

As far back as I can remember I have always felt the same. I feel my best when I’m alone or with Vinny. Does that seem strange to you? I used to wonder, but I’m comfortable with it now. Is it just a coping technique brought on by all my disappointing relationships in my past? Am I keeping everyone at arms length, not letting anyone get to close? I think that’s pretty close to the truth.

Some would say it is unhealthy, but honestly, I’m fine with it. I don’t feel lonely very often, and when I do it only takes a little time with others to cure that. I’m not antisocial, I just don’t feel the need for many people in my direct daily life. I think that’s partly why I blog, interaction without direct contact. A shrink could write a book about that!

As I sit here ensconced in my Volvo cocoon, I feel my strength returning. As the anger of seeing my damaged car dissipates, I pop in a movie and relax with my best friend. Life is returning to normal.


37 thoughts on “The Brain Drain

  1. Sorry about the damage to your car. that sucks, especially that they didn’t leave a note. No wonder you don’t like hanging around with people much. Seriously though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring your own company, and Vinny’s. You are being true to yourself, I say good on you. Safe driving on all those long hauls.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Nothing strange about being comfortable being alone. My experience is that there are many people like that – including me. I lived by myself for 3 years and the solitude was wonderful. I am not antisocial either, but for the most part just do not like to be around people. Good post.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You aren’t antisocial, I know this because of how animated you were while we jumped from one topic to another..
    Seeing your car (it was dramatic damage) would be an instant drain, because you had no forewarning that someone had done that..
    Some people are just built for other’s company in small doses.. That’s going to be hard for those who are not to comprehend that.. That’s their problem..

    I was tired after our breakfast but I think it’s because I overate.. a lot.. 😩
    But it was delicious..

    I want to play chess the next time you’re ready for your small dose of people.. 😊

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Happened to me once. My car was parked on the street in front of my house and someone ran into it and left. I figured it was either a kid,or someone who didn’t need any more trouble than they had, or whoever it was just panicked and left. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I describe myself to others as an extroverted introvert. I developed a technique long ago whereby I can slip on the extrovert persona and get through the things I need to that involve sprightly interaction with people. These days, of course I don’t have to do nearly as much because I cast off the corporate shackles and live a quiet life. My husband comments that most would find it really odd that I am such a shy person because I present as extremely confident. But solitude suits me much of the time. I like to surface for air and spend time with particular people. You would be someone that I would enjoy spending a little time with. Pan would. Terry Spearfruit would. I know this because I have got to know you slowly and carefully through your writing. You are Weird of course. So am I. Because we are meant to be bubbling with energy that is fed by others rather than deflating and feeling sapped by them. You should catch up with Jeb Bush’s Town Hall in South Carolina last night – at the end he talks about being introvert …. it was very interesting. Vinnie knows you better than any like The Bean knows me – I don’t have to try with her, she accepts every nuance of my personality and doesn’t make any judgements. I love my husband for the same reason. He is the only man in a fairly long and undistinguished line who has made no attempt to change me but simply encourages me to be myself. That is a gift. I pass it forward to you – you are a keeper because you are you.

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      1. Origin

        Old English wyrd ‘destiny,’ of Germanic origin. The adjective (late Middle English) originally meant ‘having the power to control destiny,’ and was used especially in the Weird Sisters, originally referring to the Fates, later the witches in Shakespeare’s Macbeth; the latter use gave rise to the sense ‘unearthly’ (early 19th century).

        Having the Power to Control Destiny Guy with the Dog..

        That’s a mouthful 😄

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Osyth said it…introvert. That doesn’t mean oddball hermit, that means you might be what is called an energy absorber. This link will provide info if you’re interested in learning more about what that means: I am an introvert. An absorber of energy. It drains me to be around people very much and a LOT of people (crowds) is becoming a big problem. But I’m lucky and can choose how often I have to interact and how many I have to interact with. You too are lucky, I think the majority of truck drivers (especially long distance people) choose the profession because it allows them the solitude. That’s why (to me) it would have been a perfect job. Perfect. If only I could drive that well! 😉

    I’m sorry some tool bag hit your car and ran away. And this is a bit airy fairy thinking but Karma will out. That individual (or individuals) will have something of equal nastiness visited back on them. You get back what you put out there. I’m a firm believer. Take care and keep on truckin’! 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I have to hand it to Guy, he really handled the hit n run well.. And he asked me to breakfast.. If it was my car, I probably wouldn’t have asked anyone to go grab a bite.. And only a mention of his car came up at breakfast.. He was happy talking about other things..

    I think the reason most people choose truck driving is because of the freedom at work you have, and the travel.. And I’ve seen it over n over again, people who came into this wearing rose colored glasses and find out too late that :

    You’re not going to back up perfect every time..
    You can’t drive as fast as you want in any kind of weather coz you believe the fantasy that you’re Billy/Bonnie Big Rigger and know it all..
    You can’t stop every 2 hours to sightsee or b.s. at a truckstop..
    You can’t cherry pick your loads and make great money..
    And it’s your fault if you have an accident because you decided to have a driving pissing contest with another vehicle..
    Either one of two things happen when a disillusioned person starts to figure truck driving isn’t what they “thought” it would be..
    The ones who smarten up, get out to find another career..
    Or the idiots who stay and whine continuously instead, to anyone who’ll listen.. The latter are the ones who drive badly and give us all a bad rep..

    I did start driving for the freedom and travel but knew it’s work too.. I didn’t do it for the solitude and it’s really not a life of solitude out here.. It’s easy to make that happen for yourself, unlike other professions that you are forced to keep company with others in the workplace.. Driving gives you a choice in that aspect..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s so true…you get to choose, at least more than an office, who you interact with. It can be in most cases on your terms. As far as my car is concerned, there’s no point in getting to upset, as it will not make the car whole again. I won’t let anything interfere with my single-minded purpose of saving for my boat. I can’t waste anymore time of my life with things I have no control over. That time is better spent working on what I can control.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Sorry about your car – even worse when they don’t leave a note. People can be so discourteous. My cars have been rear-ended a few times and you just wish drivers would pay attention. I also feel like my life force is being sucked out of me, right now. Maybe it’s the weather. As for the other post, I abandoned Facebook almost immediately. At least on WP people express their opinions in a courteous way or don’t say anything.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Not all of us suck! My husband’s car is covered in little dents from his previous employer’s car park…I don’t know how many safety notes he wrote concerning the behavior in the car park. He should have got a little video…

        Liked by 1 person

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