Maine Humor

We can be a bit “Odd” living in the woods up here in Maine.  Oh, as a reminder, I’m not politically correct so fair warning!

 

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The Teethbrush

Research had been going on for many years in regard to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device but wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study, the researchers came to their conclusion about the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented in Maine.

Intrigued by the discovery, the media asked the researchers how they came to this conclusion. The researchers all agreed that it was simple deduction: “If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.”

 

How we deal with j-walking cows.

 

If you live in Maine, you will understand and agree with this 100%!  If your from Massachusetts, get over it!

 

Computer Terms for Aroostook County (Northern Maine)

1. Log on – Make the wood stove hotter
2. Log off – Don’t add no more wood
3. Monitor – Keep an eye on that wood stove
4. Download – Getting the firewood off the truck
5. Floppy disk – What you get from downloading too much firewood
6. Ram – The thing that splits the firewood
7. Hard Drive – Getting home in the winter
8. Prompt – What the US mail ain’t in the winter
9. Window – What to shut when its cold outside
10. Screen – What to shut in black fly season
11. Byte – What the black flies do
12. Bit – What the black flies did
13. Mega Byte – What the BIG black flies do during trout season
14. Chip – Munchies for TV
15. Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you eat chips
16. Modem – What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway
17. Dot matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife
18. Lap top – Where the beer spills when you nod off
19. Software – The dumb plastic knives and forks at McDonald’s
20. Hardware – Real stainless steel cutlery
21. Mouse – What makes the holes in the Cheerio box
22. Main frame – What holds the house up, hopefully
23. Enter – The only way to win those magazine sweepstakes
24. Web – What a spider makes
25. Web site – High corners of the ceiling
26. Cursor – Someone who swears
27. Search Engine – What you do when the car dies
28. Screen Saver – repair kit for the torn window screen on the camp
29. Home Page – map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods
30. Upgrade – Steep hill
31. Server – waitress
32. Mail Server – male waitress. Darn few in Maine
33. MS DOS – Some new disease they discovered
34. Sound Card – One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it
35 User – The neighbor who keeps borrowing your stuff
36. Browser – A problem moose in the Garden or Blueberry patch
37. Network – Mending holes in the gill net
38. Internet – Complicated fish net repair
39. Netscape – What haddock do when you don’t do your network
40. Online – good sign they’ll be clean clothes this week
41. Off line – the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground – better luck next week

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6 thoughts on “Maine Humor

  1. BWAHAHAHAHHA!! But shouldn’t it be “lobsteh”? And those cows? We get the same problem up here in Northern Utah, but our cops don’t have that great a sense of humor! But there’d be steak for dinner if them cows were that disrespectful! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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