I Don’t Want The World To See Me, Cause I Don’t Think That They’d Understand

And I’d give up forever to touch you
‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s meant to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Iris – Goo Goo Dolls

 

Music is a huge part of who I am, even though I have no talent in that arena!  The one thing I do know is a great song when I hear it.  Some songwriters have a second sight, a visual prowess that allows them to see into the human mind and soul and then put into words the grief, anguish, fear, happiness and hope of this complex existence called life.

When you listen to the words, not just the music, you are transported to a place that can be quite different for every individual.  A great song has more than one meaning in every verse, sometimes a different meaning every time you listen.  I think this is one of those songs.

When I listen, I get the sense he is on the same quest I am.  Patiently searching for his better half, ever hopeful she is out there with the same destiny.  But under it all is the fear it will only be fleeting, something will happen to destroy the dream.  I think he is holding back, careful to only expose as much of himself as needed, fearful of rejection.  Do you ever get the feeling a song was written for you?

We all feel sometimes that we are alone, no one understands us.  We struggle with social situations and can’t seem to really connect with anyone.  We can take the path of walling ourselves off, careful to keep our hearts shielded, living life in the shadows.  But deep down, when we are honest with ourselves, that’s not where we want to be.

Then we hear a song that cuts right to the core of who we think we are.  It’s so close to the image of ourselves we start to look a little deeper at our inner being, reassess our worth.  It’s then that you realize, your not the only person to feel this way, your not alone.

I think part of being human is the search for acceptance.  The longing to be a part of something bigger than oneself.  The path to that fulfillment I feel can only be found through trial and error. One must try new things, break out of the norm in your life and look for a way to discover and express who you are, what moves you.  I believe that’s the real reason I started this blog.

I needed to come out from the wall I had built around myself as a defense against the feelings I neither understood, nor wanted to explore in-depth due to an irrational fear of what I might find.  In these posts I have found my release, the inner voice that was trying to break out for so many years, stifled under the fear of what others might think.  Am I the weird guy with the dog?  I know now that I am he.

I think the weird guy was in me all along, waiting for the right moment, the right point in time to burst forth and reveal who I really am without fear of rejection.  I told myself that even if I had no response to my views, no followers to offer opinions, I would still be opening up the hidden part of me locked away for so long.  I would be free to feel.

Free to feel what it was like to express how I look at life.  Free to explore what made me laugh or cry, what made me angry or sad.  A blog is like a diary.  You write down all the things in your mind arranged in a way easier to understand, simpler to convey their true meaning.  It’s only when you push “Publish” for the first time that you truly let go all the fear and anxiety.  Now you are out there for all to see, and you hope they understand.

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22 thoughts on “I Don’t Want The World To See Me, Cause I Don’t Think That They’d Understand

  1. Love Goo Goo Dolls. 🙂 I’m glad you started blogging. You bring a lot of points of view to various subjects, plus you showcase all the beautiful places you travel. I’m also glad that you found freedom with putting your thoughts “out there”. That Publish button is super scary at first. Luckily, it gets easier quick! 🙂 Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Welcome to the weird club, its the best one to be in! You sound like a Larry Darrell of our time.

    “I don’t think I shall ever find peace till I make up my mind about things,’ he said gravely. He hesitated. ‘It’s very difficult to put into words. The moment you try you feel embarrassed. You say to yourself: “Who am I that I should bother myself about this, that, and the other? Perhaps it’s only because I’m a conceited prig. Wouldn’t it be better to follow the beaten track and let what’s coming to you come?” And then you think of a fellow who an hour before was full of life and fun,and he’s lying dead; it’s all so cruel and meaningless. It’s hard not to ask yourself what life is all about and whether there’s any sense to it or whether it’s all a tragic blunder of blind fate.” – Larry Darrell

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I love that song. It’s on the soundtrack of an interesting movie too “City of Angels” in which an ‘angel’ (Nicholas Cage) who is assigned to do something on earth (I don’t know if that part of the plot is explained or not) sees and falls in love with a human (Meg Ryan). He “gives up forever to touch her”…and the song expresses his reluctance to ‘let the world see him’ – a big no-no if you’re an angel apparently. … Maybe he’s an ‘angel of death’ who comes to collect people for the journey where ever they go ‘after’ …and thereby are allowed to see their guide to the next world or something..it’s been years since I saw the film, so the details are fuzzy. Good movie though. And great song! Thanks for the throw-back Thursday moment! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Music has that ability to find the place we need it to inhabit. It speaks to us when we can’t listen to talking, have eyes to tired for reading and souls heavy or light. Songs are like friends that don’t need us to confide because they already know what is needed. And they can help us to find out who we really are by their repeated playings and listenings. They also have the ability to take us back to times almost forgotten, blurred out sometimes deliberately and sometimes just by life getting in the way. They can invoke laughter and tears and we need that to grow. We need emotion to find our true self. And if our true self is what others call wierd, the songs don’t care, the music doesn’t mind and, as it happens, neither do I!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly so. My father always said he wasn’t musical and yet there are so many songs that only have to start to take me right back to is knee as a little girl or his hand on mine as he gave me away as a bride or the look of wonder on his face when he first laid eyes on his eldest grand daughter or his light feet dancing in the kitchen … Music was part of him without his ever recognising it and if I piece together those songs I get a truer picture of him than a grainy snapshot in the family album will ever give me 💫💫🎼🎼💖

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautifully written! You have such an amazing ability to write from the heart in such a way that it genuinely reaches into the very soul of a person and takes them “there”. Thank you for that and for putting yourself out here to us. Have a blessed and wonderful day W.G. You are a special man! Hi Vinny! (Ziggy the “Brat Dog” sends his canine hello)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Is this the post I missed? It’s beautiful. I love that song, in fact I could hear it in my head as I was reading the lyrics. You’re such a special person, you write with such heart and I’m so glad to have connected with you.

    Liked by 1 person

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