Alone In A Field

If you have already seen this post, disregard as I have had problems with posting to reader!

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I feel this way alot, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I’m sitting in northern Wisconsin with nothing to do till Monday, so I take Vinny for a walk in a field across from the truck stop.

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It’s about 3 acres between the truck stop and the highway, but if you look closely you can find beautiful things to photograph. Like these flowers all alone in the field.

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There just simple wildflowers but their radiance is still enticing. How about this prairie grass blowing in the breeze?

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Vinny stands there while the breeze flows past his face.

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Alone with my thoughts I can think things through more clearly, make better decisions than I have made in the past. Ive made some decisions in the last few days and my 3 year and 10 year or so plan is now set.

627a8-100_1202I had been talking with the company I drive for about leasing a truck from them. The advantages of leasing is the freedom to set your own schedule, control where you run along with a little more money at the end of the day. The down side is the maintenance, repairs, insurance and other hassles that go along with ownership. I have owned my own truck in the past, but I’m to close to my final plan to take on the responsibility now. I’ll stay a company driver.

I’m going to spend every penny I make this fall and winter purchasing better lenses for my camera, a canoe for next summers camping trips, a few more tools for the upcoming boat projects and I’m going to pay off my car. By the end of May I should be debt free.

5357707_20150925114209219_1_XLARGEAt that point I will have everything I need to entertain myself, no need for any other items of any substantial cost. I earn $4000.00 to $5000.00 each month after taxes and I can easily live on a quarter of that once I have no payments. Every penny extra at that point will go to the boat fund. In one year I will have enough to purchase the boat I want, and in two years I should have the refit done. I will essentially have a new sailboat at that point.

I think once the boat is done I will take a summer off just to give the boat a real shakedown and give myself a vacation to remember. In all my working career to date I have never had more than a one week vacation, and I have never traveled out of the US. I would like to sail to Nova Scotia and then to Prince Edward Island. Maybe go down the Saint Lawrence Seaway to Quebec then back to Maine. It’s a dream I have had for a long time.

After that summer I will go back to driving for the winter. I can earn enough in six months to sustain my lifestyle for the year if I’m careful so I can take every summer off. That is the point where I have made a big decision. I’m going to give something back to the country that has allowed me to live my dream, as well as destroy the demon that has plagued me all of my life.

img_6531-largeMy relationship with my father was never very good. Partly my fault, partly his, but I think most of it had to do with the PTSD he was never diagnosed with until he was in his eighties. He was the picture of a dutiful father when it came to providing for the family. He was never without a job, we never went hungry, always had toys to play with, and I never felt he didn’t care.

The real problem for me was that father/son connection, it was never there. Now that my dad is in late stage dementia, it’s too late to make up for lost ground. My chance to play ball with my dad, go camping or fishing, work on my first car, it’s all gone. It tares me up to see him now, there’s nothing I can do but watch him slowly fade away. I have to live with this, but what if I can help others to avoid it?

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My 10 or so year plan is simple. Enjoy the time I have left while I’m still healthy, and do something good for someone else. I have decided to start a non profit that will be aimed at Veterans with PTSD and their children. I’m going to offer 3 or 4 day excursions for Veterans diagnosed with PTSD, and their son or daughter, off the coast of Maine entirely for free. Sailing, fishing, kayaking and even swimming for the very brave! (Maine coastal waters never get above 65 degrees or so!) All food will be included also.

I can think of no better way to give back, or pay it forward than to give a Veteran and his/her child a chance to really bond away from everything modern. No internet, no phones, no tv, just nature. 4 days of just being together with no distractions. I wish I could do that with my dad right now. The company I work for has said they will be a sponsor along with putting me in touch with the organizations they already work with. I spoke to a Lawyer about setting up the organization but I need a name for it. That’s where you come in!

I have wonderful followers that have great minds, and I love to hear from all of you. Let’s put our “Hive” mind together and come up with a name that will inspire, a name that projects the goal I have given myself. I have done a search of the Maine area and can find no other organization offering anything similar. I think this could be quite a hit if I can get it off the ground.

I don’t believe the costs for such would be very high, and I don’t think I will have any trouble finding Veterans to help. I’m not looking for money to buy or refit the boat as it will be my retirement home also. Just enough to cover the food, insurance and other minor expenses I incur. I feel very strongly about this. I’m not sure how many summers I would offer it, but even if I only help one child connect with a parent, I will have made a difference.

The next time you drive by a field, think about that flower. It’s just waiting there for someone to come along and be it’s friend, someone to show they care. Just like a child waiting for their dad to go play ball.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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54 thoughts on “Alone In A Field

  1. Hmm. To name such a heroic effort…wow. Um. I’m sure you’ll have lots of suggestions and I hope one of them fits. If I think of something I’ll surely be back to offer it. I am in touch with organizations like Disabled Vets of America, and maybe they’d be a resource for you when you get it going? What a lovely idea.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is beautiful, appropriate and relevant. You will achieve something so special, so unforgettable for those that you help. That we know. We also know that you will do this because you are a doer and when you set your mind to it you don’t give up. I will certainly fire some ideas for names at you …. I’ll do a mini brainstorm and give you a list – it may be long or it may be a list of one … this I don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You flatter me. All I did was tell the truth – and it was pretty selfish …. I could see the potential in you and I wanted to get it out into the open so I could enjoy it. And that, really is what you are talking about. Lost opportunities are always poignant. If you can coax the skulking love between a parent with PTSD and child blinking into the daylight you have achieved something so precious that it cannot be measured nor counted. And I absolutely believe this idea of yours will do just that. I really am very very excited and very very proud of you.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know where to start here… It’s like you have one of those “cup runneth over” hearts. You NOTICE things- the flowers, the wind on Vinny’s face. What a gift that is, in the hustle and bustle of daily life. I bet those flowers were happy to steal the show that day. πŸ™‚

    I admire your plan, how you have all the details worked out, and the time from in which you’ll do it. Bravo to you.

    The picture of your dad makes my heart ache a lil. First the PTSD robbed him of a chunk of his life, now the dementia is taking the rest…

    You are a hero. For even coming up with an idea to help a family is such a BEAUTIFUL projection of love towards soldiers and their families. Truly. It almost makes me weep with joy just thinking of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My father gave alot to his country. And even though his country was slow in giving it back, if I can help other solders with their pain I will have made up in some small way for the shortcomings of our leaders. It’s too late for me and my dad, but not for all the others.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I googled synonyms for Freedom. What popped up was just the word with 4 definitions (no link that I can find) and the 4th definition kind of stands out.

        The power of self-determination attributed to the will; the quality of being independent of state or necessity.

        That to me screams Sailboat! So Freedom may be built right in to your mission and you may not need the letters of the word Freedom in the title.

        Some of the synonyms are: latitude, leeway, elbow room, breathing space.

        Breathing Space Excursions- leave your troubles behind…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Take a picture of it and use it in your logo. Then you can write a blurb about how PTSD stole your dad and he never taught you to play ball when you were a kid and how these sails are in his honor. It’ll go big. A Veteran and his son relates to many people. πŸ’œ

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh wow, I’m so completely overwhelmed and touched by this post. Even before I got to the part about your intention and plan I could feel your heart and gratitude in your words and I had a feeling it was leading to something bigger.
    And then you blew me away! What an amazing idea, I absolutely love it and I have no doubt that with your tenacity and conviction it will become a reality.
    Now to think of a name …

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I really enjoyed the images and theme of this post, thanks for sharing. I have a poetry blog here on WordPress and today’s poem (in case you have time to look) is about the clarity I get when I swim. It is like meditaiton for me I suppose. Have a good day, Sam πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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