A World So Cold

When passion’s lost and all the trust is gone
Way too far, for way too long
Children crying, cast out and neglected
Only in a world so cold, only in a world this cold
Hold the hand of your best friend,
Look into their eyes and watch them drift away
Some might say, we’ve done the wrong things
For way too long, for way too long

Fever inside the storm
So I’m turning away
Away from the name
(calling your names)
Away from the stones
(throw sticks and stones)
‘Cause I’m through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns
‘Cause I’m running away
Away from the games
(fucking head games)
Away from the space
(hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

Burning whispers, remind me of the days
I was left alone, in a world this cold
Guilty of the same things, provoked by the cause
I’ve left alone, in a world so cold
Fever inside the storm
So I’m turning away
Away from the name
(calling your names)
Away from the stones
(throw sticks and stones)
‘Cause I’m through mending the wounds of us

Keep your thorns,
‘Cause I’m running away
Away from the games
(fucking head games)
Away from the space
(hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

I’m flying, I’m flying away
Away from the names
(calling your names)
Away from the games
(fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold

Why does everyone feel like my enemy
Don’t want any part of depression or darkness, I’ve had enough
Sick and tired, bring the sun, or I’m gone, or I’m gone

I’m backing out, I’m no pawn,
No mother-fucking slave to this
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don’t give a shit about anything

Backing out, giving up, no mother-fucking slave to this
Never lied
Never left
Never lived
Never loved
Never lost
Never hurt
Never worry about being me, or anyone else
Not a care, no concern, don’t give a shit about anything

I need to find a darkened corner
A lightless corner
Where it’s safer and calmer

I’m turning away
Away from the name
(calling your names)
Away from the stones
(throw sticks and stones)
‘Cause I’m through mending the wounds of us

I’m running away,
Away from the games
(fucking head games)
Away from the space
(hate this head space)
The circumstances of a world so cold

I’m flying, I’m flying away
Away from the names
(calling your names)
Away from the games
(fucking head games)
The circumstances of a world so cold

A World So Cold – Mudvayne

It’s 2am and I can’t sleep. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Overwhelming cynicism are the only words that describe it. In 3 hours I need to drive 600 miles to get back to Maine, and it’s going to be a long day.

It’s said a human being can be summed up as a combination of 3 things…Genetics, upbringing and life experiences. You can’t change genetics, your parents are who they are. You can’t change your upbringing, your parents did the best they could. You can’t change your life experiences, there’s no changing the past. The only thing you have control over is your future, right?

I used to think that, now I’m not so sure. How much of what happens to you can you control? How many bad situations can you avoid, foresee, plan for or stay away from? No matter how hard you try, sometimes you just can’t avoid something you know is going to hurt. Like I said, cynical.

I ask myself often if I’m just to sensitive, to open to the outside pressures of public opinion, willing to let myself be ruled buy what others see as the social norms. Or am I just going crazy. Whatever it is, today is a day of introspective anguish, a day of second guessing every move, thought and hope. Today is going to be hard.

Here in a world so cold, you have to take it or give up. I hear people say life is about choices, should I stay or go, left or right, up or down. Each one has a consequence, each decision has repercussions. How do we choose? How do we know what is the right path? We guess, that’s how.

You may think this choice will result in that, but you can’t know for sure. How much is fact, how much is hope for a certain outcome, and how much is luck? If I give in to the pressure, let my cynical side take over, I go nowhere, I give up. I will never give up! I am a good person with alot to give, I just have to get through today.

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19 thoughts on “A World So Cold

  1. Seems like sometimes when people put stuff “out there”, self-doubt soon follows… Hope your feeling better today. 🙂

    I’m going to toss this out there, don’t know if you read books, but there is a life-changing book I read a few years ago. It’s called “29 Gifts” by Cami Walker. She tells her story of pretty much being down and out and about to give up. She stumbles across a spiritual healer and gets some life altering advice. It may be a really great read for you. It may help you in ways you don’t even know of. 🙂 Highly recommend it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Jessica, you are so right …. it seems that the very act of opening up on blogs causes a ricochet of self-doubt to surge in behind for many. I’m intrigued by the book you recommend …. I have more than one person in mind for it and my shelf is never too full for a good book and my life never too perfect for a fix!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi. 🙂 Self-doubt is a mean one, isn’t it?

        The book is really honest. She describes her situation and it was a bit of a hard read for me in spots, but everything has its place in it. I just can’t explain how beautifully life-changing it is. I’ve recommended to several friends and they’ve loved it as well. In fact, I sent my copy to someone who was having some rough months and it changed her whole outlook and life. Can’t say enough great things about it. 💜

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Self doubt is without doubt (double use intended) the most eroding of conditions. I have looked the book up, found it and ordered it. I look forward to the read and thank you for the recommendation ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Oh! Love what you said! The “double”made me smile, and “eroding” is the perfect word. That is exactly what it does- chips a little away at a time…

        I’m sooooo excited that you ordered the book. Please let me know if it resonates. Whenever I tell my friends/ family about it, I always add that it will change their life- I guarantee it.

        Now, who am I to guarantee a book that I didn’t even write will change their life? It’s just that good. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      4. I will certainly let you know … it’s funny when one has a certainty that the advice of another is right (particularly when you have never even met that person) but I have that certainty that your advice is sound …. its the sheer unfettered certainty that you project that did it. And it is lovely and I thank you 😊

        Liked by 2 people

  2. You know what, my friend? YOU ROCK! Very few people that are our age even know about Mudvayne, let alone the lyrics and the depth of them! One of my absolute favorite bands! The Ol’ Man can’t handle the music so I had him read some of their lyrics (“World So Cold” and my favorite “Death Blooms”) and he was surprised as hell that the “Screaming Metal” had such prolific and intense lyrics! Thank you for another very moving post! I agree, you are a good person with a HUGE heart and lots to give! God Bless You and Hi to the little guy!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You don’t gain a lot without risking a lot. I’ve read your posts over the past few days and hope this isn’t the culmination of what seemed to be a possibility of joy. And to gain joy sometimes costs us. Some of us will never pay the price again, and we’ll never know ‘joy’ in the same way again either. All one can do is try. Put the foot in front of that other foot and keep on keepin’ on.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. WTF is Normal anyway? Not in this society we live in today. Normal I have found is overrated anyway. LOL

    Now, CONTROL, on the other hand, is not real. LOL. I am a woman in years of recovery and have learned the sooner you let go of CONTROL the smoother your life will be. It can become another addiction all in itself! We have no control over people, places, or things.
    Learn that and let God take the wheel and I just follow his path where he takes me 🙂

    *CaT*

    Liked by 1 person

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