Soon I’ll Be 60 Years Old

Once I was seven years old my momma told me
Go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely
Once I was seven years old

It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger
Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker
By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor
Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure

Once I was eleven years old my daddy told me
Go get yourself a wife or you’ll be lonely
Once I was eleven years old

I always had that dream like my daddy before me
So I started writing songs, I started writing stories
Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me
‘Cause only those I really love will ever really know me

Once I was twenty years old, my story got told
Before the morning sun, when life was lonely
Once I was twenty years old

I only see my goals, I don’t believe in failure
‘Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major
I got my boys with me at least those in favor
And if we don’t meet before I leave, I hope I’ll see you later

Once I was twenty years old, my story got told
I was writing about everything, I saw before me
Once I was twenty years old
Soon we’ll be thirty years old, our songs have been sold
We’ve traveled around the world and we’re still roaming
Soon we’ll be thirty years old

I’m still learning about life
My woman brought children for me
So I can sing them all my songs
And I can tell them stories
Most of my boys are with me
Some are still out seeking glory
And some I had to leave behind
My brother I’m still sorry

Soon I’ll be sixty years old, my daddy got sixty-one
Remember life and then your life becomes a better one
I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once
I hope my children come and visit, once or twice a month

Soon I’ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me
Soon I’ll be sixty years old
Soon I’ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold
Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me
Soon I’ll be sixty years old

Once I was seven years old, momma told me
Go make yourself some friends or you’ll be lonely
Once I was seven years old

Once I was seven years old

Lukas Graham – 7 Years

I heard this song for the first time today. I almost changed the station as I don’t usually listen to this style of music, but I’m glad I listened as I think I have found my next favorite song. It hit me really hard as I watched the video just now, and I had to write this post to get the feelings out or I might burst.

IMG_8253 (Large)My life to date has been a jumbled mess. Innumerable hours spent sitting alone by the ocean as a very young boy just hoping my dad would come and sit beside me. Trying desperately to fit in with the other kids in school, never really succeeding. Getting married with the hopes of having someone to share my life with, only to be tossed aside for someone else. I know I’m not alone with these sad occurrences, but these are mine and they hurt.

As I look at the scales of my life they are unbalanced, many more bad moments than good. Soon I’ll be 60 years old, and the passing of time seems to be speeding up. Do I have 30 years left? Since there’s no way to know I had better get to work balancing those scales.

mainI think these thoughts started Friday when I buried my father, I just needed something to help sort them out. This song made me look at my past in a way that reflected my underlying need for redemption, my search for the answers we all seek. It reinforced my goal of freedom on a boat and my want to touch the lives of fathers and sons that may be struggling to reach each other. Maybe if I can help them it will be like connecting with my dad in the way I always dreamed of.

I have reached out to other charitable groups that help veterans for the purpose of insight into the methods of starting my own non profit as I described in this post. Alone In A Field  I was going to wait until I had amassed enough funds to purchase the boat myself, but I feel that’s what I have been doing all my life…waiting. There’s no better time than the present, I say now is the time before time runs out.

DCIM100GOPROAnother thing happened to me in the last few days that reinforced my feeling that I can only really count on me. (And Vinny, of course!) No one is going to give me more strength than I can draw from within, no one can push me to succeed better than I can. I’ve heard it said that there’s always one person in the midst of any bad situation that steps up and handles the problems because they have the strength to see it through, the will to face it head on. I think I’m that person and I’m not going to back down now.

Starting this week I will put everything I have into this venture. I paid off my car last week and I am completely debt free now. I will still go camping this summer and share many pictures of Vinny and I’s adventures in the “Outback” of Maine, but every spare penny, every spare moment will be dedicated towards my purpose. I will make a difference or die trying.

 

 

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15 thoughts on “Soon I’ll Be 60 Years Old

  1. Congrats on being debt free and freeing your mind/heart. You are well equipped to take more scenic route to along the way.. Smart but more important, creative, are some of your strongest tools.. And when it comes down to the nitty gritty, we are the captains of our future as we sail in the ocean of life.. Some lives sail close together, some tow others along.. Few are a lone ship in the night.. You have much to offer others in life wisdom and wit.. I hope you enjoy life thru both, whether its 60, 70, 80 or beyond, looming on the horizon..

    Liked by 1 person

      1. If people only knew how big that statement is coming from either of us.. It seems to me that we are eye to eye about trust and friendship.. Neither taken lightly.. 💛

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Our parent’s passing has such an effect on our lives, no matter how old we are. I would rather live for 5 more good years than have 20 sick ones. I am so glad that you are debt free and going for your goal. I wish you many sunsets on the deck.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, you know me so well! Drunk, I can do anything and I really love the water but can’t get over my fear of deep water. My family owned pleasure boats on a very deep lake and I think their talk about who had drowned recently stayed in my brain. 😵

        Liked by 1 person

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