Somewhere I Belong

When this began,
I had nothing to say and
And I’d get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find/that I’m
Not the only person with these things in mind (inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I got left to feel.(nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own,
And the fault is my own.

I want to heal,
I want to feel,
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long (Erase all the pain ’til it’s gone)
I want to heal,
I want to feel,
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find That it’s
Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I?)
What do I have but negativity?
‘Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is looking at me.(
Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own,
And the fault is my own

I want to heal,
I want to feel,
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long(erase all the pain ’till it’s gone.)
I want to heal,
I want to feel,
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel,
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything ’til I break away from me
And I will break away,
And find myself today

I want to heal,
I want to feel,
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long (erase all the pain til it’s gone)
I want to heal,
I want to feel,
Like I’m close to something real
I want to find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong.

I want to heal.
I want to feel like I’m,
Somewhere I belong, Somewhere I belong.

Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park

My search for somewhere I belong has been an apparition, a misty image viewed through a mind clouded by false hopes, poor choices, misguided goals and an unclear vision of how I wanted to live my life. For years I wandered from job to job, place to place, never finding anything that pulled me in, satiated my thirst for creativity. Through it all I held onto past grief and regret, never thinking anything through to completion to find an answer. The fault was my own.

As I’ve matured, and removed myself from the self destructive environment I lived in, I realized I’m not alone in my suffering. The desert of pain I wandered in for so long was actually full of others on the same quest for the life giving waters of release, the intentional letting go of the anchor holding us back from true happiness. We all share the same guilt and longing for exemption, all reaching for that feeling of walking away from one life and starting another. I think I’m almost there.

My sailboat is nothing but the vessel that will carry me to the next port in the long voyage that is my life. A kind of floating home that will shelter me from the storms, yet hold me in the light of forgiveness. A place where I can heal all the wounds of my soul and find my inner writer and photographer, a place to pull my creative side out into the view of all who will believe in me.

This blog and all the followers whose comments have been so inspirational to me, coupled with my will to find true peace, has been the lighthouse that has led me across the stormy seas to the sheltered harbor that will be my home very soon. My heart sings when I think of warm days basking in the sun, simple meals prepared by my own hands, and the comfort of my best friend by my side. That misty image is starting to come into focus, the fog of indecision is lifting and I can now see the reason I am here, I can see somewhere I belong.

sailing sunset

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11 thoughts on “Somewhere I Belong

  1. Fear is a good thing in proper perspective.. What a motivator it can be👍
    I doubt you will fail, but if you don’t succeed, the “or else” will be “trying something else or another way”.. No matter how the adventure plays out, your thoughts, stories and photos will continue to be the magnet that draws us in 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi,
    I like dogs too. I want to say I have three but unfortunately one died.
    We all have our passions and we must pursue them or have regrets and life is too short to live with regrets.
    I met you at Jason’s blog party. I blog over at http://mostlyblogging.com Maybe you can check out my blog if you need any blogging tips. That’s what I blog about. I also host blog parties like Jason.
    Janice

    Liked by 1 person

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