I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin’ insane
Tryin’ to walk through
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah,I thought I could leave but couldn’t get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of livin’ a lie
I was wishin that I
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
When the moment arrives that you know you’ll be alright
And I’m sayin’ a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
That one last shot’s a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life’s a journey not a destination
And I just can’t tell just what tomorrow brings
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn’t listen to all that righteous talk, oh yeah
I was out on the street,
Just tryin’ to survive
Scratchin’ to stay
Desperate hearts, desperate heart
Like a lot of people in this sometimes cruel world, I have had my share of problems. Some big and some small, each with their own pain, but I refuse to let them set the table of what should be a cornucopia of beautiful experiences in our short life. Maintaining a balance between happy and sad, content and uneasy is a never ending struggle. One has no real control over every happenstance that may befall us so we push forward in the hopes of a better outcome tomorrow and let go today. Or so I tell myself.
Age brings with it a certain outlook, an attitude born from our likes and dislikes along with the bumps and bruises of mistakes along the way. We start with a vision of a perfect life, a perfect state of mind in which all our needs are met with perfect aplomb and skill. Youthful exuberance carries the day as we forge ahead to a future unknown, but we know all our plans will come to pass as we are in control.
Years later all that experience and knowledge are for naught as our physical presence slows down, we start to pare down our plans because we don’t see a path to that future we planned for all those years ago. It’s now that you must ask yourself, what really matters to me and how do I get there?
It’s amazing when you finally see that light, when you strip away all the false advertising and see life for what it is. Like Steven Tyler in the above video link we reach a point where life starts to take away more than it gives, or so it may seem. His voice is not what it was, his hair is graying, yet he still performs with the same effort and style as he had in his youth. He has found what moves him and it’s not the money or fame, it’s the giving of oneself to those who may be buoyed by your efforts. It’s there that life becomes fulfilled.
I now understand what my future has in store for me, I can see a path to happiness. Every time I snap the shutter, every video I put together about this trail or that mountain, I feel a sense of purpose and delight. If I can make someone smile, raise their spirits even for a moment, I have achieved something great.
Just as I was brought to a higher level by a call from a special person today, I hope she could sense the friendship I have in my heart for her. I am a weird guy and I tend to turn off most people I meet. Part of it is me but a lot is the tendency of people today to judge you by your cover.
No one wants to take the time to know the real person beneath the facade we all parade around behind as a shield against rejection. Yet we cannot live behind a wall forever or face a life of loneliness we shall. It’s amazing when you drop that shield and give life your all, and to hell with all who won’t see you for who you are.