I’m Just Moving On

It’s been such a long time
I think I should be goin’, yeah
And time doesn’t wait for me, it keeps on rollin’
Sail on, on a distant highway
I’ve got to keep on chasin’ a dream
I’ve gotta be on my way
Wish there was something I could say

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ on
You’ll forget about me after I’ve been gone
And I take what I find, I don’t want no more
It’s just outside of your front door

It’s been such a long time. It’s been such a long time

Well I get so lonely when I am without you
But in my mind, deep in my mind
I can’t forget about you
Good times, and faces that remind me
I’m tryin’ to forget your name and leave it all behind me
You’re comin’ back to find me

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ on
You’ll forget about me after I’ve been gone
And I take what I find, I don’t want no more
It’s just outside of your front door

It’s been such a long time. It’s been such a long time

Yeah. It’s been such a long time, I think I should be goin’, yeah
And time doesn’t wait for me, it keeps on rollin’
There’s a long road, I’ve gotta stay in time with
I’ve got to keep on chasin’ that dream, though I may never find it
I’m always just behind it

Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ along
Takin’ my time, just movin’ along
Takin’ my time, takin’ my time…

Foreplay / Longtime – Boston

“Life has a funny way of showing you what you want is not always what you need. Open your eyes and the light of reality will bring the truth into focus when all you see is despair for what is not attained.”

John David Ray

As a young boy I dreamed of faraway shores and mysterious lands, adventurous journeys and quiet solitude. Visions of the glorious sea and the majesty of the mountains filled my childish mind and carried me away from the loneliness painted on my young soul. So long have I dreamed of feeling at peace, so long have I waited for my time to come.

Some dreams will never be attained but others are within reach if you work hard and focus on your goals. And part of that focus means removing anything in your path that slows you down. I feel if one is reasonable about a life goal you should cast aside all thoughts of failure, push aside any doubt that you can’t reach the summit. A single minded approach by prioritizing the steps needed and removing all items or actions that impede your success are the only way. A few days ago I took a giant step towards just that.

The number is 3181, my company truck at Pottles Transportation.

Three days ago I gave my notice to the company I have worked for this past 6 years. It was a choice that took months of thought and weighing of all the factors that go into such a decision to make sure it was the correct one. I think I’m right but I admit a shadow of doubt lingers on my mind.

The past 6 years of my life have been filled with sorrow and pain, sleepless nights and difficult decisions. The many days off needed as my father died were requested and granted without a single question, company needs put on hold for the benefit of an employee.

A cold December night…15 below zero!

I have no words to express my gratitude for all they have done for me in my time of need, a testament to all that is still good in mankind. My best friend Linda that I have written about also worked for this company, and they went out of their way to help her right up to the day she died. I will never forget the true friends I made here and the feeling of a close knit family that I so longed for. So why am I leaving?

Time off at a rest area in Virginia on Interstate 81

I’m tired. Tired of the relentless and maddening traffic of the east coast. Tired of the reckless and inconsiderate drivers that make up a majority of the people I have to interact with on a daily basis. I’m tired of always doing the right thing and feeling the never ending pressure to be safe.

There’s something about being in a car that seems to bring out the worst in people, a disregard for all that leads to crazy lane changes, passing on the right and other actions that could lead to their deaths if I lose control and hit them during these actions. The pressure to be a professional in these instances is very stressful and has taken it’s toll on my well being. I need a break.

I love mornings!

I have decided to take an offer from another company that does not have the majority of it’s runs in the area of the top northeast states. I can deliver loads that stretch from Minnesota to Louisiana and Maine to Florida. Instead of driving the same stretch of road 3 times a week I can “Stretch my legs” as it were and drive longer distances away from the madness I have endured and enjoy the open road again. I so miss the peace of just setting the cruise control and driving for hours without touching the brakes.

Pottles used to have these long runs, but times and economy’s of freight have caused them to give up long for short freight in the name of profit. I get it and I understand the decisions were made for the longevity of the company with growth in mind, but I must get away from the lead weight that is holding me back and reduce the stress that has been pushing me into feelings of anger and a wanting to walk away. I will leave on good terms as I should given how well they have treated me, and I will carry with me feelings of friendship for the rest of my life for many that have had a positive influence on me.

Welcome Home!

“Experience is not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.”

Alduos Huxley

Peace and comfort is a state of mind only you can bring forth, you control how everyday events effect your well being. Stress and discomfort are part of everyday life but you can diminish it’s power over your well being if you try. I drive an 80,000 lb truck down the highways of the Northeast US, one of the busiest corridors of this country, and the stress can be overwhelming. By the end of each day my muscles are tense, my back aches, and I feel every bump and jolt these broken roads give me.

It takes me two hours of relaxing each evening to even think about sleeping. A brisk walk with Brandy my dog helps, if I have the space to safely take her out, but that’s not always the case. Some areas I must overnight in are unsafe at best and downright disgusting more often than not. It seems when you put too many people in a geographically small area the worst of human nature comes forth and nature pays the price. From bags of human excrement to unknown food remnants swarming with flies, I have seen it and walked around it all at many a truck stop. What brings someone to disregard others to this extent is beyond me, but my travels through this miasma is worth the price if I achieve my goals.

Hello Rocky Mountains

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”

Colin Powell

And work hard I have. From picking eggs and shoveling Sh*# as a young boy to building stone walls and cutting grass in my 20’s and early 30’s. I worked at a plant processing human sludge into compost while standing in ankle high ponds of urine, to shoveling snow all night during some of the worst storms in Maine over the last 40 years. All this hard work has made me understand what it means to achieve something for oneself, what it means to hold your head high no matter what life throws at you.

I can’t remember the names of so many people I have met over the years as I’m sure they don’t remember mine. But what I do know is the ones that I worked closely with left a mark on me in one way or another. Even if I didn’t realize it I learned something from every one of them. It’s hard to tell if it was what or what not to do to succeed, but I carry those lessons with me even if I can’t remember their names or what each planted in my mind. Each and every person in this world has worth, each person has something that you can learn from if you open your mind to it.

The Smokey Mountains in Tennessee

“Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity…”

John Muir

My goals have changed because I think I dreamed too big. As much as I wish to sail to far away shores, that goal is monetarily out of reach. And yet maybe the right goal was there all along, forgotten from childhood in the glint of shiny objects thrust upon us by a society filled with dreams and standereds that may not be for me. It seems in today’s world the vastness of ones possessions is the measure of ones place, a big house and an expensive car the status symbol of making it.

I will never have the means to attain that goal even if I wanted it, so I must look to quality over quantity. I will save longer for a few useful items that serve me well instead of a large number of things that only serve to impress. Items that have more than one use instead of the throw away culture that permeates much of the popular advertising. If it wont fit in my Jeep and trailer, if I can’t find more than one use for it, I don’t need it.

My 1989 Jeep Wrangler

“Be grateful for what you already have while you pursue your goals.
If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more.”

Roy T. Bennet

It’s the simple things stupid! A warm sunrise or a gentle breeze. A brisk swim in a mountain lake, the taste of a fish you just caught. The simple things in life form the basis of all that is pure and sacred, all that you bring with you when you pass. No BMW or Tudor, no Rolex or diamond can impart the same gift to your life experiences the way a walk at sunset with your dog can. No fancy dinner or dress can place in your memory the feeling of holding the hand of someone you love. Each moment of life should be cherished for what it is…Life.

8 thoughts on “I’m Just Moving On

  1. Careful! Make sure EVERYTHING that needs taking care of here is stabilized before you leave, because more miles away makes it harder to take care of. Been there, done that for more than 10 years. It SUCKS when you are 1000 miles away from anything that needs your attention in New England. What’s the timeline?

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      1. Well, good luck. I’ve kept my eyes open for some time and I haven’t seen a better deal anywhere. Going long seems to drop income and raise daily expenses a lot. Again…good luck.

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  2. Beautifully written and so honest as always John. It sounds as though you know what you want and you’re taking steps to achieve it. A simple life with appreciation for all we have is often the richest life of all.

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  3. Can we ever dream too big John? I don’t think that is a bad thing! Yes, we have to adjust our aspirations occasionally and take a step back, but we still have those dreams that may be a little larger than life!
    Good luck with the new job, I hope it goes really well for you.

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