You Want It All But You Can’t Have It

Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can’t, then it doesn’t matter anyway
You will never understand it cuz it happens too fast
And it feels so good, it’s like walking on glass
It’s so cool, it’s so hip, it’s alright
It’s so groovy, it’s outta sight
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet
But it makes no difference cuz it knocks you off your feet
You want it all but you can’t have it
It’s cryin’, bleedin’, lying on the floor
So you lay down on it and you do it some more
You’ve got to share it, so you dare it
Then you bare it and you tear it
You want it all but you can’t have it
It’s in your face but you can’t grab it
It’s alive, afraid, a lie, a sin
It’s magic, it’s tragic, it’s a loss, it’s a win
It’s dark, it’s moist, it’s a bitter pain
It’s sad it happened and it’s a shame
You want it all but you can’t have it
It’s in your face but you can’t grab it
What is it?
It’s it
What is it?…

Epic – Faith No More

To this day I still get goosebumps every time I listen to this song. The best days of my youth flood back into my conciseness with the force of a hurricane as it blows aside all the disturbing fallacies of modern society. A simpler time indeed it was, though we new not how important those moments in time were. Troubled we were in the pains of teenage ignorance yet these memories stand out as some of the most important lessons that have shaped who we are as adults. Oh how I long to hold on to the feeling I get when I indulge my youthful passions and let go the furrowed brow of adult commitments.

As the above photo shows my passion still lies in the lure of the sea, the restless sway of the tidal pull. Visions of shorelines passing and islands approach fill my mind with dreams of freedom and comfort heretofore displaced by the sadness of a more structured existence. Lessons I have learned lead me to a lifestyle I long for with the grace of patience needed to achieve results. For now I will indulge my longing with trips afield to the wilds of Maine.

Airing out my tent after a long winter

I’m sitting in South Carolina resetting my logbook this weekend, but I made a few upgrades to my Jeep before I left Maine in preparation for a camping trip the first week of June. I wanted to go camping sooner but the engine started to fail me in my 30 year old vehicle. Old technology fails in the passing of time, yet even older units (brand new copies of course) can replace them with greater efficiency.

A new Weber carburetor to replace the old Carter model

This new carburetor is simpler than the stock one, larger in it’s air and fuel mixture, yet it gives better power and fuel economy. Sometimes newer technology is not always better.

Performance Distributors direct replacement with new wires and plugs

A new high performance distributor, plug wires and plugs clear up the misfire problems. My fuel mileage has increased by at least 40% and the power increase is very noticeable.

When I have more time I will continue to clean up the engine compartment, paint the engine and surrounding areas, and upgrade the charging system with a duel battery setup. Simple projects that add durability and resale value to my vehicle and challenge my abilities and learning process.

As for my future, someday I will sail past the vestiges of man’s control and rise to the challenge of self reliance in it’s greatest form and I shall pursue all that has dogged my inner being for so long. Freedom is different for each person, the outline of such portrayed in ways pursuant to each ones goals. Mine will be on the open sea with no skills but my own to sustain me, no manual but the one written by my own hand as I search for my place in his world. Wish me luck.

10 thoughts on “You Want It All But You Can’t Have It

  1. I got no alert that you had posted.
    I’m glad you got to look back on your youth that way. Some of us look back with regret, and our life devolves into another “Faith No More” song…”Midlife Crisis”!
    Presently sitting in the Breinigsville Penalty Box.
    Thought I had gears in motion for a livable house, got word 2 weeks ago that the builder didn’t want to do it, now everyone else is booked for the year, chasing the Monson Money.
    It seems, the more what you need is dependent on someone else’s honesty, the less chance you have of achieving it. Just another one of my life’s failures…not learning this crap earlier in life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This resonated with me today, John. I have just returned from a sad trip to Scotland for my last uncle’s funeral. My family want me to return to Scotland, although I am American by birth and choice. My husband’s Scottish feet are firmly planted in Texas. I am a fish out of water although I suspect it might be jet lag. Our mutual missing friend was in my dreams last night but no response to my email. Hoping that all is well with her, she is a sweet soul. Love to you and your inspirational dreams. K x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rousing words in the song. I hope you get your Jeep fixed up so you can get back out there and enjoy more camping. Just as I’m sure one day you’ll get back out on the seas and live your dreams. We CAN have it all, just sometimes not all at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

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