I Can’t Faint

I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints, but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel
But it’s like no matter what I do, I can’t convince you, to just believe this is real

So I let go watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I’m not
But I’ll be here ’cause you’re all that I got

I can’t feel the way I did before
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored
Time won’t heal this damage anymore
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident
‘Cause you don’t understand I do what I can but sometimes I don’t make sense
I am what you never wanna say, but I’ve never had a doubt
It’s like no matter what I do I can’t convince you for once just to hear me out

So I let go watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I’m not
But I’ll be here ’cause you’re all that I’ve got

I can’t feel the way I did before
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored
Time won’t heal this damage anymore
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored

Now
Hear me out now
You’re gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
You’re gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now

I can’t feel the way I did before
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored

I can’t feel the way I did before
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored
Time won’t heal this damage anymore
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored

I can’t feel
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored
Time won’t heal
Don’t turn your back on me
I won’t be ignored

Faint – Linkin Park

I think my loneliness is not a matter of a missing partner to hold my hand as the sun sets, but rather a longing to fall back to what brings the most joy. My unintentional but occasional disregard for others sometimes stands in the way of a meaningful relationship, yet to others I seem to be a social person. My complaints are few but they reside in unresolved memories of deep hurt and of bad things that have befallen me. So what is a person to do with the baggage we carry around like a ball and chain? Try to make the best of every day and find the flower in the desert of life.

Some people tell you to look straight ahead and focus on the matters before you, keep your head up and Power through. I say you must look to the side or even a little down to see the reflection of what’s before you from a different angle such as in the photo above. To much focus can lead to missing all that comes to you in a single day.

I81 in Scranton Pa

I’m on a road I have traveled before but the view is so much more soothing, colors overtake the dreary moan of tires on asphalt. Each mile brings forth a calm serenity painted by natures palate, every turn another canvas splashed with solar paint.

I81 DuPont Pa

Self doubt is a powerful foe, patterns of thought interrupted and plans shaken for no reason other than ones lack of faith in your personal beliefs. Humans we are and we will ignore our own instincts to the determent of our lives. We sometimes allow ourselves to be influenced by an inner voice that tells us to faint instead of facing the fear. And still, are there not two sides to each of us?

I84 North of Scranton Pa

With deep though the mist seems to clear, the suns rays burn away all that has clouded our thinking. One comes to the realization that the dark side in each of us has turned it’s back to the truth, put forth a falsehood that can destroy us if we let it. No more shall I allow fear and self loathing control my life, I will force my other self to look me in the eye and justify all it has done to ruin my well being. I won’t be ignored anymore.

8 thoughts on “I Can’t Faint

  1. Gorgeous pictures! A road you (we) have been down a million times but you are still able to capture something new! Well done!
    A question to ponder…how often is our position the result of not wanting to start something that we failed at earlier, or never learned to do right in the 1st place? Add the aspect of not wanting to be hurt (again?) or not wanting to hurt someone else?
    There used to be a standard in our industry to “Do it right or don’t do it at all.” Is this misapplied?
    Taking Simon & Garfunkel’s song I am a Rock to the extreme does not seem to be soothing, even when you are good at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great pics! I agree with you that it’s not simply a matter of focus and looking ahead but looking to the side and even down. It’s being aware of everything and who we are. I still have self doubts and I still suffer loneliness. But we forge ahead.
    On another note, WP says I’m not following you anymore, (as if!) so I’ve just had to follow you again.

    Liked by 1 person

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