We All Live Out Our Faith, Whatever That Faith May Be

I have been struggling alot lately and the words have not come forth to allow me to express how I feel. Between the trials of a job I can barely stand one more day, to the recent troubles in the health of my aging mother, my strength is being pushed ever further towards my limits. Yet through it all I see a shimmer of faith in my future that cannot be denied, a glimpse of hope that this too shall pass and I will overcome all as I always have.

Even with the reminder of tomorrow being one year to the day when I had to say goodbye as my best furry friend drew his last breath in my lap, I hold on to the feeling that each day is a blessing no matter what. If you look closely you can find beauty in each sunrise, promise in each sunset. But most of all I have faith in me.

My mother has a very strong religious faith that carries her forward, buoy’s her spirit with the hope of something better soon. With each hard to watch setback in her health, I see her determination to maintain that faith being tested. Cracks appear in the will of one of the strongest people I have ever known, but she does not give up. A lesson before my eyes I will not shy away from, I will not turn away from the truth of this moment.

I see others in my family with their own problems, each coping with their own individual strengths and weaknesses, and they never give up either. We push on with the faith of our convictions, with the hopes of something better brought on by our own will or whatever you draw on to give you the means to continue the fight. I’ve said it before, I think life is a test that we must not fail.

There is no room for second best, especially in your own eyes. If you fail to give it your all, if you give in to the pressures of a world full of haters and crooks, thieves and liars, then you let them win and you will live a life of pain and remorse. I for one cannot let this happen. I will fight with all I have to keep the upper hand against the daily onslaught of trials that befall us all. My spirit is buoyed by the promise of sunrise against a mountain peak, the feel of a clear running stream as it flows through my hands. A walk with my present furry friend along a wooded trail, the gentle nudge as her nose touches my hand.

My faith lies in the knowledge that I have wasted so much time before now in the pursuit of things I neither needed nor really wanted in the name of acceptance from others, while denying my true self that belongs in the open spaces of nature. I am approximately 29 weeks away from my goal of living the way I feel I should, 29 weeks away from finding out if my faith is well founded or if this is just a dream. We shall see…

15 thoughts on “We All Live Out Our Faith, Whatever That Faith May Be

  1. Faith is that you will have what you need, when you need it. I still haven’t learned what to do with the doubt that I will know what to do with it, or knowing the right time to do it.

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  2. Oh John, I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time. I am sending my very best regards to your mum and saying a prayer for her. The death of our last wee cat lays heavy on my mind, especially since we have chosen not to get another so I really understand about Vinnie. They are our pets but even more special when we have not had children. All that nurturing goes into those furry little bodies. So glad that you have a new friend.
    As for the job – in 29 weeks you will be free to pursue retirement or something else. Is there any possibility of returning to the company that you used to work for? I know you hated the routes. My husband was utterly miserable in his last job and literally counting the weeks on his whiteboard. Then, out of the blue, an unexpected company offered him a new job at age 61. He is a new man and we are both aware that job could disappear (oil industry) but so far, so good.
    My health has been up and down but over the last week I have been searching for your site but couldn’t find it. Finally, I googled it! And followed you! K x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So good to hear from you! I appreciate the kind and sincere words and my mom will also. As far as the job goes, the company is fine I’m just sick of driving on the east coast. I will be taking 4 to 5 months off next summer as an extended vacation and will spend many days and nights with the solitude of the north woods with only my dog Brandy for company. That should take the edge off!

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  3. Hey! Only College professors take sabbaticals like that! Us working folks aren’t supposed to make enough money to do that because they figured we don’t need them!

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  4. Hi John, I couldn’t help thinking of my late mum as I read your post and looked at your photos. So much strength and stoicism that I was reminded of. I’m sorry times have been hard for you, really does seem as though life constantly tests us doesn’t it. But hold onto those dreams and that faith of yours. Sending my love and good wishes from down under.

    Liked by 1 person

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