It’s Not Having What You Want, It’s Wanting What You’ve Got

My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can’t afford his gas
So I’m stuck here watching tv

I don’t have digital
I don’t have diddly squat
It’s not having what you want
It’s wanting what you’ve got

I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone
To lighten up, I’m gonna tell ’em that
I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I’m looking up

I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna soak up the sun

I’ve got a crummy job
It don’t pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love

Every time I turn around
I’m looking up, you’re looking down
Maybe something’s wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do

I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone
To lighten up, I’m gonna tell ’em that
I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I’m looking up

I’m gonna soak up the sun
While it’s still free
I’m gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me

Don’t have no master suite
But I’m still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I’m the one who has the key

Every time I turn around
I’m looking up, you’re looking down
Maybe something’s wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone
To lighten up, I’m gonna tell ’em that
I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I’m looking up

I’m gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on

Soak Up The Sun – Sheryl Crow

I’m making it my life’s goal to only want what I’ve got, and nothing more. Constantly wanting something more, as our consumer based society reinforces, is nothing but an endless circle of want and lust for more. Never are you truly satisfied because more shiny objects are placed before you by the ad agency’s that entice us from an early age. Each object is made so poorly in an effort to facilitate it’s easy demise and replacement. How is a pickup truck that won’t last any longer than one of five years ago worth twice as much? It’s not, you just fall for the shiny object.

So why is that? It’s called “Instant Gratification” and a few other psychological factors. The excitement of buying something new is so powerful, almost a physical high when you drive off the lot in a new car. The smell of a new leather jacket, the feel of new gloves. A new piece of furniture, the latest smartphone. There was nothing wrong with the “Old” ones, but this is the latest! Sucker!!! All manufacturers count on your knee jerk reactions to the latest and greatest. The Iphone 6 to the 7 has very little change, yet you have to get it. That’s another $700.00 down the drain. Dumbass!

The sailboat I bought is 43 years old! That’s right, it’s older than many of my followers! If you look closely it has many scratches, it needs paint and the systems are not working properly. By the time I am done fixing everything will have invested at least $25,000 not including the purchase price. I will have more invested than it’s worth when I’m done, so why? Because when I’m done I’ll have exactly what I want, not some shiny new boat that will lose it’s luster just as fast but at 4 times the cost! That’s right, a new 30 foot boat with all the gear I will have would cost over $100,000! No thanks.

No, my life is going to change drastically starting tomorrow. First thing in the morning, after a dental visit, I am going to Probate Court in the county I live in to start the procedure of legally changing my name. Sounds pretty drastic right? Well let me give you some background. There are 2 people in the state of Maine with the same exact name and same exact birth date, and I’m one of them! That’s right, exactly the same.

I have had my license revoked, my car impounded and my credit destroyed several times in my adult life due to the confusion of me with the other person. We even applied for the same job at the same time once! (He got the job!) I have thought long and hard about this, I even asked my mother if she was ok with changing my name. I think it’s time for this and more in my life. It’s time for a complete change.

Along with this I am going to start a new blog, and when that’s done I will completely delete this one. Every post, comment and follower. This blog has been nothing short of therapy for me. I have shown the world all of my inner self, exposed all my secrets, put forth every demon torturing my soul. Through it all I have met some incredible people, found friends I didn’t think were out there. Even though we have never actually met, I feel your presence when you comment and like my posts, and I thank you.

But don’t worry, I will provide the new address when the time comes, and I think I know the chosen few who will follow me again. I think we all know most of our “Follows” are nothing but people trying to entice a follow from us. They never like or comment other than the first visit then evaporate into the ether of the web. I always look at their blogs, and follow if I’m interested, but most are not what interests me so I move on. I truly only follow about 8 others, and you know who you are.

I think I have reached the turning point in my life, the moment when I can let go of the past and embrace the future I will pursue with my whole heart and mind. I’m going to soak up the sun, tell everyone to lighten up, and enjoy what I’ve got which is nothing more than I need to live a fulfilling life.

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Long Live The Pioneers, Rebels And Mutineers

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This is Upper Range Pond in Poland Maine. I took this picture this morning on my way down to Cumberland Center to look at a boat for sale. I wanted to sit in a 30 foot sailboat to see if it “Felt Right” and was big enough for me. You can look at pictures all day long, but getting up close and sitting onboard will tell the story. Here’s an idea of the size compared to the car beside it.

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This is a 1974 Pearson 30, or some call them a P30. Over 1000 of these were made. Here is the copy from the add:

New lower price, motivated to sell.
Always a cruiser, never used as a racing boat and always well-maintained.
Ready to be launched.
New North sails at a cost of $4,500 included
Pearson 30 Hull #374
This family friendly, comfortable cruiser set the standard. “Over” built in 1974. Sleeps 6: The main cabin has a double berth, quarter berth and single bunk, private v-beth sleeps two, separate head with sink, galley, plenty of storage.
Edison steering wheel with compass
New North Sails, used 2 seasons, very white and crisp
Furlex Roller reefing for genoa
Main sail has one set of reef points, the genoa has roller reefing
Lazy jacks
Lewmar winches
Boom vang
New genoa sheets
3 halyards
Bow anchor mount, Danforth anchor, chain and 200″ of line
Smaller picnic Danforth anchor
All fenders and lines included
Newer lifelines, with a gate on the starboard side
VHS radio
Stuffing box recently serviced
Dodger (which is a bit “dodgy”)
Stern ladder
Cockpit cushions
Interior cushions in good condition
Sleeps 6: private v-berth, slide out double bed/bench, quarter berth and starboard berth
Screen door for companionway
Raritan LectraSan head
New 2 burner Cook Mate stove with wooden cutting board top
Ice chest
Solar fan in v-berth hatch cover for fresh air circulation
Headroom 6″3′
Yanmar 2gm20 with 823 hours
Well serviced
Solid decks, no soft spots, all fiberglass is in great shape.
saw horses for the mast during winter storage, to store the mast above the boat.
This model boat has a reputation of being easy to sail, very responsive and above average in build quality. As I looked her over and sat inside, I realized 30 feet is enough for me. At almost 10000 lbs it will be comfortable in heavy seas compared to anything smaller, and has the space for the gear I would need to live aboard. Even though it is 43 years old it’s in great shape. Here’s a few pictures of an identical sister boat as we did not take off the cover.

as long as its funI’ve talked about Lin & Larry Parday before. They are two of the foremost “Cruisers” in the world today having circumnavigated 4 times I believe in boats under 30 feet that they built themselves. Their motto is “Go small, and go now!” That’s become very apparent to me lately as I thought about how long it would take me to save the money for a bigger, better boat.

Over the last few weeks I have been planning how much I could save over the next year to purchase a smaller boat, and today solidified Lin & Larry’s motto in my mind. Something this size is all I need, so I bought it!

That’s right, you read it correctly. I bought this boat! They wanted $8500.00 and I took a shot and offered $1000.00 down and $500.00 per week until paid for, and they accepted! I almost fell down with excitement but I kept my composure until about halfway back to Bangor. Poor Vinny must have thought I was mad as I half cried then yelled so loud he jumped! I can’t believe it’s actually started, my goal is starting to come into focus.

It will take about a year to refit this boat the way I want before I launch it, but that’s OK now that I have something to work on. I should have this paid off by September and have it hauled up to my area then. I can do some exterior work this fall, interior this winter with a heater, and finish the exterior next spring, I hope to launch next season to at least sail during the summer, then maybe work one more winter before I officially become a “Liveaboard” full time. Even if it take another two years to finish the boat completely, I don’t care at this point, my journey to a better life has started.

The next time you feel your backed in a corner, nowhere to turn. The next time you see no hope for a better life, feel like giving up. Dig deeper and know if you try just one more day, you never know what will find you.Watch the video of this song, the title of which will be the name of my boat and my future, and understand what it REALLY means to overcome hardship.


Run away with me
Lost souls and reverie
Running wild and running free
Two kids, you and me

And I say
Hey, hey hey hey
Living like we’re renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Living like we’re renegades
Renegades, renegades

Long live the pioneers
Rebels and mutineers
Go forth and have no fear
Come close the end is near

And I say hey, hey hey hey
Living like we’re renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Living like we’re renegades
Renegades, renegades

All hail the underdogs
All hail the new kids
All hail the outlaws
Spielberg’s and Kubrick’s

It’s our time to make a move
It’s our time to make amends
It’s our time to break the rules
Let’s begin

And I say hey, hey hey hey
Living like we’re renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Leaving like we’re renegades
Renegades, renegades

Renegades – X Ambassadors



In The Meantime, I’ll Wait Right Here

And in the end we shall achieve in time
The thing they call divine
And all the stars will shine for me
When all is well and well is all for all
Forever after
Living in the meantime wait and see

We love the all the all of you
Where lands are green and skies are blue
When all in all we’re just like you
We love the all of you

And when I cry for me I cry for you
With tears of holy joy
For all the days still to come
And did I ever say I’d never play
Or fly toward the sun
Living in the meantime something’s gone

We love the all the all of you
Where lands are green and skies are blue
When all in all we’re just like you
We love the all of you

Well that sounds fine so I’ll see you sometime
Give my love to the future of the humankind
Okay, okay, it’s not okay
While it’s on my mind there’s a girl that fits the crime
For a future love dream that I’m still to find
But in the meantime

We love the all the all of you
Where lands are green and skies are blue
When all in all we’re just like you
We love the all of you

We love the all the all of you
Where lands are green and skies are blue
When all in all we’re just like you
We love the all of you

We love the all the all of you
Our lands are green and skies are blue

Just like you
Just like you
Just like, just like
Just like you
Just like you
Just like, just like
Just like you

In The Meantime – Space Hog

A journey through time my life, joys and sorrows to mark the passing
Months and years fold into one, melting into the composite portrait
A portrait of a being, a person becomes what experience shape’s
Captured in the colors, arranged on life’s canvas

We put forth effort, the will to meet the challenge strong
Ever searching for answers, never finding all
In the shadow of doubt we stand, fear sometimes rules
Control we must, the weakness of flesh

And so we follow the path, the vision of a life fullfilled
Mindful of the perils, we seek the wisdom to carry on
The day approaches, seeds sown and harvest reaped
But in the meantime, I’ll wait right here

What Is Wisdom, And Where Can I Buy Some?

We all would like to think we are wise, refined in our thinking, complete in our depth of thought. Bold in our actions with the assurance of our ability to discern the proper path, the right way of things. With our perceived knowledge of a sage and the foresight of a prophet we sometimes fall prey to our own misguided plans that lead to sorrow or pain. I have been down this road, sometimes more than once. After careful thought I believe the path to wisdom is found in the realization of our mistakes and the focus of thought in not perpetuating the same.

Over the past few weeks since my father died I have been caught in a battle between sorrow and hope, disbelief and fortitude. On one side I feel the loss of someone dear, a wound only now realized in it’s pain. On the other I feel the excitement of my plans for a fuller life, the freedom of the seas and the restless longing for travel. I feel torn as to how long to mourn before release, how long to wait till I no longer feel guilty for past sins. I am not as wise as I wish for I have no answer.

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I question the wisdom of a job that can be very dangerous at times. One false move and my best friend and I could be injured or killed in the blink of an eye. I tell myself that the journey to happiness is fraught with danger. Only those who are willing to pay will succeed. Again, I hope I am right.

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There are days when the majesty of the open road take my breath away, the beauty of nature overwhelms you and you feel like all is good in the world. Moments like this are the saving grace in my life, the recharge of my internal batteries I so need at this time.

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When I drive in the early morning I feel a sense of peace as the sun rises. A new day has come, another chance to get it right. Even as I write this, tears well in my eyes with the hope of a future filled with the things I am most inspired by. Nature, photography, sailing, solitude, giving back to those in need. I will fulfill my goals no matter how long it takes.

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While stopping at a rest area I notice these two trees. They seem so lopsided in the growth of their limbs, very few between them. It comes to me the simple wisdom of it. It make no sense to grow limbs in the shade of each other, better to send more limbs and leaves into the sunny side. So too should be my life. No more standing in the shade of despair. Better to stand in the light of hopefulness, basking in the glow of the brilliant light of another day. Better to squint in the sunshine than stumble in the shade.

PS: In a shocking LACK of wisdom, the hospital that last treated my father sent a package to my mother a week ago…in that package was my fathers false teeth. Even though they knew he was sent to hospice, they felt compelled to mail them. Unbelievable.

The Happiness Clause

I think we are all born with a life contract of sorts, replete with all the things that could happen to us in a lifetime. From the length of our lifespan to our quality of health, our disposition to our empathy for others all wrapped up in triplicate. But, like all contracts, in the fine print is the addendum, stipulations and clauses.

When we are young, we only glance at the contract. All we see are the platitudes like “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” and other such quotes. We rush through everyday life with a selfish and single minded purpose, the mindset of immaturity governs the day. We fail to understand the complexities of our deal, the interactions that our daily decisions make on the totality of our existence. We don’t see the results of our actions on our lives and those we care about, sometimes until it’s too late. Such is the folly of youth.

As we mature we start to see the effect of our decisions on our lives and those around us. We start to realize how we neglected some of the most important people in our lives due to our blind trust in our ability to comprehend the impact we have on others. As we reread the contract we start to understand more of what it means to be an upstanding person, how foolish we were to think we had it all figured out. Hopefully we discover our mistakes before it’s to late. Sometimes, we fail miserably.

I am one of those miserable failures. I neglected my relationship with my father until it was too late, now I have to live with it. I think I could have recovered the lost time if I had put more effort into closing the rift between us, if I had been more of an adult than I was. Yes, I was struggling with my addictions, but that’s no excuse for my pushing him away when he wanted to improve our relationship. I shut the door on a time we could have both used the support only family can give, and I will die with that guilt.

Because I’m no quitter, I must accept my mistakes and move on. As I read my contract I see the “Happiness Clause” in the fine print. It says for me to find happiness I must understand what in my life is the most fulfilling, what brings me the most joy. I feel most people think happiness will be found in retirement after working their entire lives to build some sort of nest egg. They may see a home paid for, vacations overseas, golfing in the tropical sun and other such pursuits.

I will never have any retirement savings, no home or land, no nest egg. I can cry and bemoan my situation, or I can stop and realize I’m still better off than many, I still have enough time to make amends and achieve some sort of balance between the mistakes of my past and the time I have left. I have the opportunity to fill the remainder of my time on this earth with the happiness I feel when out in nature.

The majesty of a brilliant sunrise, the feel of a cool breeze on my skin. The gental sway of the tide as it imposes it’s will on the meager tether of my future sailboat anchored in a secluded bay. The simple understanding and friendship between a man and his dog as they while away the afternoon in the shade of a tree. The feel of a moment captured in a photograph, forever caught and brought back to life with each viewing.

My Happiness Clause can be appeased by accepting what has happened and focusing my will on what will be the best use of my remaining time. Only through diligence and persistence can one achieve a fulfilling life, understanding that it’s the simple things that can bring the most pleasure, the most reward. I hope that when we die, all the bad memories of our lives stay here, only the good ones go with us. Many people believe there is another life after this one, and if that’s true I hope I’m right. If I am, my father will wake up with all the joy and happiness he felt in this life, nothing of the hardships and pain he suffered, and I can think of nothing in this world I want more.

Melancholy Hideaway

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When you spend many hours and even days alone you have uninterrupted time to think, time to ponder questions of value to the betterment of your life. Conclusions are reached, decisions made without distractions, clear is my mind in the early morning mist. And yet, somethings are still dim in the light of day no matter the effort.

This last week has been a roller coaster of trials in my mind. I finally procured a bed at a nursing home for my father that was much closer to the family, and alot more “homey” in the hopes of improving his quality of life for however much time he has left. All was well for 2 days until he had an outburst of anger and violence that led to his being removed to a local hospital, something I wrote about in my last post.

I now sit in my truck 1500 miles away, unable to sleep due to the stress of the week. There were some questions as to whether the nursing home would take him back or if I would have to find another place for him. My effort to give him a better quality of life was crumbling before me, my attempt at doing the right thing clouded by uncertainty. Today they said they would take him back on Monday, Maybe I will sleep tonight.

As I lay back in my melancholy hideaway I cant help but feel a great need to separate myself from the world. I close the privacy curtain and allow myself to feel free from the strife of my burden, free to let my mind roam to the open sea that I so desperately long for. Visions of sunrises with nothing but my dog and a seagull for company, a sunset with the soft sway as swells gently lull me into a blissful slumber.

I know that the things I do for my parents are the calling I was born to, the truest form of giving I can hope to accomplish in my life. I do this not out of a hope for notice but because it is the right thing to do. I will go to my grave knowing I did my best to give my folks the support they need at the most vulnerable time of their lives, a time when they have to relinquish some control over their well being to those who care most for them. I will not fail them in this en devour.

I gladly put my life on hold, my dreams of a life on the water can wait. NOTHING in this world is more important the commitment of a person to their parents, for without them we would not be here to dream. My time will come, my dreams will be fulfilled. My melancholy hideaway will change from the cab of this truck to the cockpit of my future sailboat on the open sea.

My dream of freedom from the modern society will never be quashed, only delayed. My goal of self sufficiency is not unattainable. I will achieve my ultimate goal, it’s just a matter of time.



Forward, Ever Forward….Never Give Up

If I made a list of the 10 worst places I have had to reset, this place would make the list. But let’s back up a little, the trip here was OK…here’s a sample.






I delivered the load yesterday and today I did some shopping and sleeping! I ran really hard the last few days and I needed this day off. There’s not many truck stops in this area and I think I found the worst one! Everywhere you look it’s trash, junk and more trash. The building was run down and even the sign was dirty!





But if you frame your shot just right, there’s still some interesting pictures to be found.





I could look at this day as a disappointment, a day spent in a dirty place. I could resent the fact I’m not where I want to be, out of my comfort zone. But that would be pointless. Today is just another test, another moment in my life that will make my future plans seem all the better. Each time I complete a day like this, the days on my future sailboat will be all the sweeter, the reward deeper and more meaningful. I will pay the price, continue doing things I really don’t like.

The road to fulfillment is paved with disappointments, rewards are shadowed by trials of life. Only through perseverance can we attain the best things in life, only by the sweat of our brow will our dreams come true. Forward, ever forward….never give up.


Every Day I Write The Book

Don’t tell me you don’t know what love is
When you’re old enough to know better
When you find strange hands in your sweater
When your dreamboat turns out to be a footnote
I’m a man with a mission in two or three editions

And I’m giving you a longing look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book

Chapter one we didn’t really get along
Chapter two I think I fell in love with you
You said you’d stand by me in the middle of chapter three
But you were up to your old tricks in chapters four, five and six

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

Don’t tell me you don’t know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

Every Day I Write The Book – Elvis Costello

Is that the 80’s or what! Don’t you just love the Charles and Diana look a likes? The lyrics perfectly describe youthful love, the in between years after Jr High, but before you start to settle down. A time when relationships were as fleeting as the last rays of sun on a winter day. But I also see a different parallel to my every day life.

I see every day as a chance to write more than a page, but another chapter in my life. Each day is so much more than can be written in just a few hundred words, each day is a chapter full of sights and sounds, smells and tastes. A day of wonder at the sky and clouds, searching for a thought to surround the view, encompass the colors. The fresh smell of the trees in spring, the scent of salt water fueling your fantasies with images of faraway lands covered in swaying palm trees.

The taste of fresh fruit, savoring every splash of flavor as it accosts your senses with it’s brilliance. The feel of a cool breeze flowing over your skin combined with the warmth of a thousand rays eager to lull you into sleep. The soft cry of birds courting in the sunset, the sound of joy and fulfillment for a lover found. All of these and more fill my days, brightens my soul.

Such are the thoughts of a simple man trying to make his way in this world. Each day brings me closer to the dream, one more step down the path towards my final destination, my vision of what will bring me happiness. Only through hard work can we hope to achieve a life worth living. Only through sacrifice can we finally behold what brings us the most joy. Only through an understanding of oneself can you do more than dream. Every day I write the book of me.

sailing sunset

Silent Lucidity

Hush now don’t cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You’re lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over
Or has it just begun?

There’s a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run to in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn’t realize it and you were scared
It’s a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly, you hear and see
This magic new dimension

I will be watching over you
I am gonna help you see it through
I will protect you in the night
I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

Visualize your dream
Record it in the present tense
Put it into a permanent form
If you persist in your efforts
You can achieve dream control
Dream control
How’s that then, better?
Dream control
Dream control (hug me)
Dream control
Hug me

If you open your mind for me
You won’t rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You’re safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream’s alive, you can be the guide but

I will be watching over you
I am gonna help you see it through
I will protect you in the night
I am smiling next to you

Silent Lucidity – Queensryche

I went to see my father today. It’s only been 2 weeks since my last visit but he thinks it’s been months. His perception of time and his short term memory are gone. When I arrived he was sleeping in a chair in the TV room. The anti-psychotic drugs they give him to stay calm put him to sleep shortly after dosing, then he slowly wakes up later.

I stayed with him for an hour or so, even while he kept dozing off. I could see the hold that the drugs have, the effort for him to keep speaking. When I left he was sound asleep, upright in the chair, chin on his chest. As I looked at him I wondered what he dreams about.

A little over a year ago, when we all lived together in Strong Maine, he had bad dreams. Many nights I would be awoken by his screams and yelling during the night. I never new if I should wake him up or not. I don’t believe in dream control, but I sure wish I could control his.

If I could I would have him dream about days sledding as a child. Coming home cold and wet to a loving mother who would give him dry socks and hot chocolate. Going to school with friends that would never dessert him, always there with companionship. I would have him dream of his days in New Mexico, riding his motorcycle across the open desert, not a care in the world, sleeping under the stars.

I would have him dream of a son who cared about him very much, who gave it his all at the end to try and make up for lost time. even though he knew it was too late. I would have him dream about us playing ball in the driveway, then watching me play Little League at Family Field. Dream of us camping in the woods, only the stars and campfire to light the evening.

And above all, I would have him dream of a life fulfilled, safe and secure in knowing he was a good person, a great father, loving husband. I want him to dream one last time of the people that will miss him, and then never wake up. I want him to pass peacefully in the dream of all dreams, forever shall he rest away from all the pain life has given him.


Tea In The Sahara

My sisters and I
Have one wish before we die
And it may sound strange
As if our minds are deranged
Please don’t ask us why
Beneath the sheltering sky
We have this strange obsession
You have the means in your possession

Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you

The young man agreed
He would satisfy their need
So they danced for his pleasure
With a joy you could not measure
They would wait for him here
The same place every year
Beneath the sheltering sky
Across the desert he would fly

Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you

The sky turned to black
Would he ever come back?
They would climb a high dune
They would pray to the moon
But he’d never return
So the sisters would burn
As their eyes searched the land
With their cups full of sand

Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you

Tea In The Sahara – The Police

What is your obsession? Don’t lie, everyone has one. That one thing you must do, something you can’t live without, your Kryptonite. I have 2…Music and the sun. I can’t imagine a day without seeing the sun rise or set, or the sound of music in my ears. If I had access to neither, I could close my eyes and they would still be there. Both can be bright and brash, or calm and soothing.

I first heard this song many years ago. I still find it strangely calming, the soft slow melody floats through your mind. If you close your eyes you can almost see the cane table and chairs sitting under an umbrella atop a tall dune, heat waves rolling about like the breeze from the wings of an unseen bird.

I set my walking cane beside the chair, sit in the shade across from a beautiful woman. Tea and butter cookies served from a silver tea set arranged on fine linen. The sun just breaking on the horizon. Can you see it? Can you feel the suns rays striking the side of your face after traveling 93 million miles just for you at this moment? If I won the lottery I swear I would do this and more!

Picture sailing up to an island no bigger than a small house. I drop the anchor, lower the dingy and we go to shore with a picnic lunch and a bottle of Chardonnay. After the meal, enjoying the wine, the sun starts to set. You watch as the sun just starts to kiss the sea, you can almost hear the hiss as it disappears below the waves. As the stars come into view you realize just how small we all are, how insignificant the daily trials are. What would the music be as we dance on the sand?

I guess I better make it 3 obsessions. I’m obsessed with the thought of living a much fuller life than I do now, and having someone to share it with. I believe in the romantic notion of living each day as your last, savoring every morsel of food however meager. Lingering with the subtle notes of a fine wine, the complexities of a nice brandy. You need not be rich to find your happiness, just willing to work hard and never stop looking for the next sunrise.